Happy Birthday Mom

Today would be Mom's 73rd birthday. She would have awoken to the red roses from her anniversary earlier this week and scrambled to get Scooter ready for his morning walk. After a light breakfast that would have left the hummingbirds flying outside the porch window hungry, she would assumed her place along the neighbor-lined streets of brookview.

It has been cold here, so I imagine her wearing the periwinkle and snowflake fleece sweater from Talbots that I gave her one Christmas. We always tried to gift clothes, but neither recipient actually liked the gift so this one stood out to me....because she liked it and wore it often.

I see a cream headband worn over her ears and some over sized men's gloves on her hands. She never wasted money on things she did not absolutely need, so these items were re-purposed from garage sales or left ofter items from past relatives.

I imagine her clumsily carrying her cellphone as she tries to manage the dog leash. Scooter always pulls to go forward, being quite disrespectful of her need to socialize with the many friends that she met along the way.

After the one loop walk where she held court as the reigning socialite of Vinings, mom would have settled in for a snuggle with Dad and her disgusting decaffeinated coffee, sprinkled with cinnamon to attempt to disguise the lack of flavor.

The calls would start to come in...from my Grandmother, from Judy and Jane and Hayes....and my uncles - blood and adopted friends - would pop in with a loving rat-a-tat-tat knock knock knock at the somewhat hollow wooden door.

Each time, as the crowd of well-wishers grew, she would lovingly greet them and invite them to stay for a while.

But, today began a little differently this year. I woke with the excitement of a special day, only to have a heart sinking moment where I realized that it would be another day without my mom. Another day without mom at special friends' day at the childrens' schools. Another day where I start to pick up the phone and have already dialed her cell before I realize that she cannot answer.

So, I snuggle back into my down comforter for a while in order to drift back into my dream....the one where my mom has already called me at 7am on a Saturday to see if I would wish her a happy birthday...where I see her pacing in front of the greenhouse windowbox and leaned up against the kitchen counter as she sips that god awful coffee...and I smile.

We all miss you Mom. and yes, I did wish you a Happy Birthday this morning on that phone call in my dream. I somehow know that you got the message.